Attitudes are Contagious

Yesterday I was reading my feed, and I came upon two bloggers that were struggling with Trolls.  I’d like to contribute to their momentum, by encouraging them to keep on keeping on, regardless of haters.  670I hope this can help WordPress remain a safe place for them to share their thoughts, and I fully encourage anybody who wants to help me do so.

TK & HFCT, only let the people into your garden that won’t step on the flowers.  I see how much effort you share with the world on your blogs, appreciate the courage that it takes for you to write as you do, and it pissed me off that you’re getting negative feedback.

Ouch!  I just got a message from TK, and it was pretty embarrassing.  I had to look up “IRL” to understand why I was anxious…..and now I’m just disgusted!!  Its only happened to me twice that I know of, but the insidiousness of feeling hunted in real life is ugly, and the perpetrator of it deserves a rock upside the head as far as I’m concerned.  Sorry gal.  That’s toxic.









The Party and Me: A Thousand Miles Away

Will you see me in the lick of flames, in the center of the mandala of brick? I wonder if you’ll burn one of the Christmas tree’s I gathered, in celebration of my love for the return of the sun? Will the short burst of flame into the sky pass as me? Will you hook up a blower to the vents, and drink to me in the make of a white hot flame?

Who is there to mow, sweep, mop, and lay the table settings? Is there enough ice in the coolers? I wonder if that person will be there at the end of the flames, to poke and prod the coals to black. I hope the chairs get moved back in honor of me missing it, and the shovel comes out, to throw a cloud of the party’s finish into the sky.

I wonder if you choose to see me in the arch of the arbor, and the path of rocks laid down? Do you look at the sprinklers popping up, and visualize a fountain that is me, in the rainbow curtain of water flying out? I have left my art behind to represent me, and I hope it’s good enough.

The celebration is for a man. He taught me to dig, to plant, to break, to fix, and to make. He taught me how to love to sweat for free with bleeding hands. It seems fitting that I’m not there. The infrastructure left behind in the wake of my makes, is his to own and relish. Its a party I’m missing, because as I write this, my tears are billowing on the edge of my lids.

I can’t contain my gratitude for him, in a smile. I think of him when my gloves go on, because he would grunt at me impatiently, and use bare hands in muck to get it done. When my back hurts from lifting rocks, and the truck sways while braking from a load that overflows, I blame his style in me.

When I’m wearing clothes that are torn and sullied with things I had forgotten were there, he comes out in the eyes of other people judging me, and I grimace in the stench of it. When the sound of my truck makes people stare, I know I’m learning his lessons again.

If my knuckles are bleeding, and my hands become one with the tool in a cramp, I pound harder with satisfaction that my body is giving out, because he taught me how. You can’t buy what he is in a store, as work into play isn’t for sale. A good friend of mine said, “It’s better to wear out than to rust out”, and he is wearing out.

He’ll read this and know that his party is a thousand miles long, in me. As the stars shine into the light of day tomorrow, I’ll be watching over the people without homes in a church, so they can sleep in a dream come true. Shine on.

Fantasy or fantastic, 13 reasons to use a pseudonym….or not.

I appreciate the questions the “Opinionated Man” puts forth on his blog, and the latest one rang for me. During the course of the comment I was writing on his article, I decided to address it here for myself, as I made a choice on the issue recently to reveal myself online. Well, I didn’t take my pants down…..again, but I did decide to own my pen name, as it was wearing on me to constantly feel that I needed to hide it.
The comment:
Pro pseudonym:
1. Privacy. 2. The work potentially proves it’s worth alone. 3. You won’t have to be praised to your face. 4. Mysterious is sexy and breeds curiosity. 5. If your book is hot enough, your wife won’t have to deal with women banging on the door trying to get a lay with a rock star. 6. You won’t have to go on book tour. 7. Giving the profits to a worthy cause anonymously will be easier. 8. Your kids won’t have to defend it with fisticuffs at school. 9. I’m looking into it myself. 10. Sometimes I think a potential mate would rather know me in person, and some of my best friends don’t read my writing, which could be so they don’t have to prematurely know what I’m thinking about. 11. Writing is lonely, and your wife misses you, so maybe an alternate identity would allow you to close the office door when your with her so she can spend time with the guy she married instead of the “ten foot online awesome one” she gets to share with the world, because he writes. 12. The fan mail for you will go to another address, and you can revel in your accomplishment without her feeling like she’s not as cool as you are. 13. Fame is fun like “the best moments owning a boat: buying it, and selling it.” Hmmm, I might be on her side.

Then again…
Pro True Name
1. Your writing could have more weight with people’s judgement of how honest it is if you own it. 2. Accountability and accepting responsibility for what your writing does in the world, may give it more value to you? 3. You like being a recluse, and she thinks it’s hot. 4. It’s easier to maintain motivation as a writer when you get positive feedback, and the best forms of that are emulation, or directly from people you care about. 5. It will be easier to convince the guys at the barbecue that you’re a bread-winner, if you can show them the paper. 6. Hiding an identity makes real life conversation uncomfortable and leads to people being suspicious of you. 7. You get to go on book tour. 8. The women banging on your door could help your wife know that your worth her effort to love you. 9. Dressing up in costumes to avoid recognition can be fun for the whole family, it’s like Halloween all year, and a brand new car every week is reliable transportation. 10. You may have to move to a small town in the country, and take your wife to the city for culture exposure when she needs a dose of dancing. Poor you, it’s pretty in the country. 11. It’ll be easier to get respect at writing conferences, and the feedback can come through your ears instead of just your sneaky eyes. 12. You won’t have to worry about hiding who you are to people who might accidentally reveal your pseudonym(or intentionally in spite). 13. People in your life that have an opinion that matters to you, may be more encouraging of your lifestyle if they value what you make, and if they get the chance to read it…..

It’s an interesting paradigm. I imagine it’s different for writers that have accrued financial success or notoriety. It’s probably different for every writer regardless. For those of us down here in the “I’m broke as shit and haven’t got a thing to show for my writing but satisfaction and something to share that I think has value”, putting our name on it may be the only thing we can do to justify our efforts to the people around us.

Every time I share my blog addresses, and wish to give somebody a way to accept my apparently to them, crazy lifestyle, it’s a mixed bag of tricks. Do I think the writing is good enough? What about the presentation? Do they really want to know that much about me? Are they even going to read it? Is it going to change our relationship? Do I want that?

I’m weary of the comment that people are envious of how I live my life. Frankly, that comment sucks. Being self-employed is neither easy or fun unless it’s done right, and after over twenty years of it, I’m still figuring out what that looks like for me.

It gives me the feeling that they have no idea how stressful “freedom”, or the lack of a stable career path or employment is. Right now I’m staying with Family, and while that is wonderful for a myriad of reasons, it’s not particularly conductive to pride. Envy me not for the things I have to humble myself to accept on the path to emerge as a writer, in fact, don’t waste your time with envy at all.

Searching for the quote, “don’t write unless you have to”, brought me to a great article on emerging writers. As a student of the trade, I’m enjoying jumping out of the closet, publishing wildly, and spending less time on doubt. It was rewarding to read about what a more balanced process would look like, and reflecting on how I’m failing myself in some basic publishing stress reduction techniques.

Trial by fire has always thrilled me more. Like the idea of begging for forgiveness vs. asking for permission. My struggle as a writer is that I don’t really want to wait. I get satisfaction by hitting the publish button on something I want to share. Unfortunately the economy doesn’t work that way though, and I’d like to have my writing be self-sustaining, so I’m studying what the other side of the coin looks like.

Maybe if I looked at my blogging as sharpening the knife. Cutting with a dull knife is stupid, as it takes longer, your more likely to slip, and when you do the potential injury will take longer to heal, as the cut is ragged. The analogy works well to describe the process Lauren’s article painted. Her advice was take your time, or “think slow”, which to me is sound…but doesn’t come natural, or feel fun.

So writing here is fun, and I’ll be working up to a more formalized approach in the land of what I like to call Chrysalis Draft Craft. I spit this one out. I hope it was palatable, and if it wasn’t, feel free to follow the links, as the two writers I referenced make words fit well.

Highway in the sky

This is an image of hope. A man made mountain in the sky high hope. With rammed earth stacked up in a ramp of monstrous size, a method for mass movement materializes.

This is my best attempt at applying a simple tool to solve a challenge that this world faces. It’s a practical use of the one thing dragging our progress towards sustainable transportation down. Gravity.

From Elementary age, people know the joy, found in coasting. How would you feel if your morning commute was fuel free, and required wheels, a chassis, lights, a battery, brakes, and a tranny?

At this point of this article you may be thinking about concrete. It’s poison, and unfortunately we lost the alchemical recipe for the original Roman type long ago. Like Damascus Steel:, you can’t buy it new. Only the stuff that has stood the grind of time passing is available for use. Lost arts….that we’re collectively searching for.

Rammed earth however, is still used today to make efficient, cheap, long lasting, strong, and stable structures. A simple recipe of clay, sand, and water makes bricks like rock. The houses built right with it, are earthquake, flood, and fire proof. With maintenance, walls last for thousands of years. Compared to new age concretes life span of a hundred plus….do I need to say more?

How much money would be generated and saved from elevator tickets, tourism, real estate options, transportation, and environmental impact reduction etc KM?

Is it impossible to lift tonnage using only gravity? “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, your right”. Gravity isn’t just a one way force. A gigantic air tank at the bottom of a cylinder of water does what? Ballast baby, ballast.

Points of contention for the engineering mind to debate: Where does the clay and sand come from to build what will make the wall of china look like a model on an architects palate? Will buttresses be needed, or can it be stable with the right sized footprint? What is the potential for bridging towers to save on labor, soil, and energy? What is the life span of an arch, and should it be built as a series of arches?


At the end of the day, who wouldn’t want to catch a bubble ride to Mile High Park? The peregrine falcons are always fun to watch diving. And glider suits? Makes base jumpers wanna dance. Paper airplanes never flew so far.

If you love this posting, read this one too:

As with most of my art, I will work on it till I die, bouncing from the philosophy of “The work is already done” to “KISS 8P”. To the best of my effort I will build this post into greatness over time.

“The most contagious thing for humans, is an idea.”

Prosperity in a cave.

I will have prosperity rain down from the sky, winking in the moonlight, silver droplets, molten forming art, a wallet of metal, a glisten of sparkle, wrapped around me, in a jacket of wealth. Let my hems be sewn with rubies, my belts be laced with emeralds. I see a mountain of wealth in the lair that is my mind. By this time tomorrow, the mountain will go again, trembling shakes beneath my feet, rattling cutlery and china on the tabletops of the heartland, spewing large chunks of melting gold across the garden. I will be as the sleeping dragon, smoke billowing from my ears, atop the pile of filigreed books, when the slightest disturbance is heard, I will be anticipating, another nap, and another meal.
-the dragons lair-