Your article farted, need some toilet paper?

Since this is a community of lightning fast encouragement, I pray that my lack of education in punctuation, doesn’t do me from behind with this post. I am not gay, but I find contentment in this place of blind appreciation, for art that brings me satisfaction.

Being brought up in a community of artistic circus freaks, gives me pause to clarify that last line…and this one too. I don’t care if you’re developmentally delayed, man, lesbian, woman, Jewish, or a sneaky kid expressing the wisdom and talent of your years. I want to see the best you have to offer, and from now on will give some of mine, in the hope of gracefully helping that happen.

If I am not satisfied with your work while being an enthusiast of comments with effort, should I write, “good job”, or “that’s swell”? When I find your text lacking in simple spelling corrections, it seems like a chunk of embarrassing food left over on your cheek, and I kick myself for not saying anything.

No more will I placate your lack of proofreading effort, or insufficient understanding of sentence structure with a “like”, and an empty box of constructive criticism. How can I say in code, that a line is failing the happiness of my eyes? How can I avoid shaming or embarrassing you in front of your audience?

Does anybody have a tricky way to give feedback so it won’t be misinterpreted as prideful trolling? Do you think I should fix anything in this article, so it will gain the respect of the more practiced artists in this craft?

Please return the favor, as I have work from the past three years lined up in a standing march of a hundred drafts that aren’t ready to share again, because I’m too busy making new words burn, and editing the ones I couldn’t bear to put out.

I look back at my work and am happy to report that it sucks. My lines are failures of perfect proportion to my skill, lying sullied with novice mistakes, and silly expressions. I’m sure my feeling of dissatisfaction will return to this one, with a keen stroking later…if I don’t get your help now.

As you read through the pages of my dreams, ideas, hopes, and whims, do you find yourself stumbling over misplaced stones in the path? Commas are an example of an editing challenge that prevents this mystery of tasty lines from coming out of me. I put them in to reflect patterns of my speech, as if I’m having a conversation with a reader, and trying to give them a sense of my rhythm, or when I want to build my passion to share.

This doesn’t mean it would be better if it reflected the English code of conduct, as this is my art, but I do know that it’s more fun to read if it flows well. The poetic justice found in messing with spoken English leads to laughter from my peers, so in my improvements as a writer I hope to harmonize with it, and it’s challenging to find a balance.

Should I let go of worrying about people’s feelings, and treat their art as a stand alone object? Would it be better to just lay out steaming piles of composting criticism that cook too hot, and burn the nutrients off the post I find irritating? What do I want?

I want honest reflections through other people’s filter. In the hope of improving my writing, I will pray to the idea of having many editors. This article is a bridge I’m building into your world. I hope the trolls from the fairy tales are real, because without a couple of disgruntled admirers, how can I know what is good enough?

Should I take the time out of my life, to go back to every fence I built, and see if it’s still standing strong? I usually wait for a customer to call, then I go to the site and decide whether it was a failure of mine in the making of the barrier, a matter of a lack of maintenance, or a fallen tree misinterpreted as my fault. If it’s something I’ve never done before, like write every day in the hope of making money, then I search through my first attempts with a critical eye, to preserve my career.

So please be the lightning that comes out of the sky to fry the posts of my fence, and feel free to write what you will on my comments. If you’re in doubt of being too mean, use the link to this article as proof to people who might judge you wrong, for giving me what I cannot give to you….for the fun of a well made script.

Seriously. Lay down some ugly. I grew up with Southern men yelling at me(they lost their hearing due to using power tools with no hearing protection) because their father’s did, so I’m comfortable with enthusiastic criticizers. If you find an article that squeaks too much, do me the big favor of telling me to get the grease gun.

When your comment blasts my phone, I’ll pursue harmonizing with your appetite diligently, and will do my best to take it seriously while preserving the presentation of the dish you returned to the kitchen, so I won’t need this toilet paper as much in the future:

Thanks for enjoying my blog. If you don’t for any reason, please read these articles, to inspire the fire in your remarks. ūüôā
I hope you have a really shitty day sweating your work, because it’s only fun when it’s done as a team, and I want to be on yours.


A Grade A Grey Day

For many grey days have been grade A. ¬†Like the man pumping my gas yesterday did say, “they don’t make very much money, their some kinda non-profit, I think they break even.” ¬†I responded with a hearty laugh, “that’s all you ever really have anyways right? ¬†breaking even?” ¬†He looked at me with a startled, wary eye. ¬†Didn’t know that I was talking about the apple pie I wish to see in the sky.

Here is a dream come true. ¬†Broke? ¬†Work for an hour and they’ll give you a meal in trade. ¬†Short on change? ¬†The suggested donations are flexible to your pocket book. ¬†Not a single cent, and no energy to give? ¬†Coffee and a pastry are free if need be, and probably by the time you finish consuming them, you’ll feel energized enough to help. ¬†Wifi? ¬†Yes, good and free.

Lot’s of rules though. ¬†Don’t get silly and think they don’t have structure. ¬†Every question I asked, was sent up the ladder on the chain of command. ¬†I just wanted to take some pictures, and fix the sink. ¬†Eat a bagel and finish my drink. ¬†I love this place:

Started the day out with four dollars. ¬†Then a man gave me seventy five for driving to meet him, and I gave most of it to the man who operated the gas pump. ¬†With little left, I found this place across the street. ¬†Where debt and profit meet. ¬†Zero is not a number. ¬†That’s like saying a star is a number. ¬†Nope. ¬†Zero represents everything. ¬†One of the most powerful symbols we have. ¬†We wear it on our finger to represent loyalty. ¬†We join in them so everybody gets a back rub…at the same time. ¬†The cycle of life. ¬†Recycling. ¬†Reclaiming. ¬†Round. ¬†Whole. ¬†Unified. ¬†Complete. ¬†Forever. ¬†Infinity. ¬†Together. ¬†Zero. ¬†Grade A Grey Days