The Party and Me: A Thousand Miles Away

Will you see me in the lick of flames, in the center of the mandala of brick? I wonder if you’ll burn one of the Christmas tree’s I gathered, in celebration of my love for the return of the sun? Will the short burst of flame into the sky pass as me? Will you hook up a blower to the vents, and drink to me in the make of a white hot flame?

Who is there to mow, sweep, mop, and lay the table settings? Is there enough ice in the coolers? I wonder if that person will be there at the end of the flames, to poke and prod the coals to black. I hope the chairs get moved back in honor of me missing it, and the shovel comes out, to throw a cloud of the party’s finish into the sky.

I wonder if you choose to see me in the arch of the arbor, and the path of rocks laid down? Do you look at the sprinklers popping up, and visualize a fountain that is me, in the rainbow curtain of water flying out? I have left my art behind to represent me, and I hope it’s good enough.

The celebration is for a man. He taught me to dig, to plant, to break, to fix, and to make. He taught me how to love to sweat for free with bleeding hands. It seems fitting that I’m not there. The infrastructure left behind in the wake of my makes, is his to own and relish. Its a party I’m missing, because as I write this, my tears are billowing on the edge of my lids.

I can’t contain my gratitude for him, in a smile. I think of him when my gloves go on, because he would grunt at me impatiently, and use bare hands in muck to get it done. When my back hurts from lifting rocks, and the truck sways while braking from a load that overflows, I blame his style in me.

When I’m wearing clothes that are torn and sullied with things I had forgotten were there, he comes out in the eyes of other people judging me, and I grimace in the stench of it. When the sound of my truck makes people stare, I know I’m learning his lessons again.

If my knuckles are bleeding, and my hands become one with the tool in a cramp, I pound harder with satisfaction that my body is giving out, because he taught me how. You can’t buy what he is in a store, as work into play isn’t for sale. A good friend of mine said, “It’s better to wear out than to rust out”, and he is wearing out.

He’ll read this and know that his party is a thousand miles long, in me. As the stars shine into the light of day tomorrow, I’ll be watching over the people without homes in a church, so they can sleep in a dream come true. Shine on.


Blogging Makes Laughter

Releasing my thoughts and feelings in a free flow in the hope of making the world a better place, and finding encouragement as I do, is rewarding me with laughter.  Wouldn’t it be great if we had an economy based on laughter?  What if the goal of making money was to laugh?  The ones who laughed the hardest could be the richest, and you know what I think?  I think they’d probably share the money to promote somebody else laughing.  I pledge to you, that if you donate a dollar to my blog, I will find somebody with a need, and find a way to make them laugh with the dollar.  Heck.  I’d pay them a dollar for the laugh, and take a picture of them laughing for you to see what your investment did.  That seems accountable.  Whatever.  I’m gonna have to pay somebody for a laugh whether you give me money for my writing or not.  I’ll post the picture at some point….because work can be play with a little shift of imagination. 

Thanks TK and Marina for liking my post about character development.  I read back through it after you clicked there, and laughed.   I have to admit I did a little bit of good-natured trolling earlier, so I’m in a pretty good mood, and I did just finish a beer, but whatever.  Goodnight.  🙂   

Oops. I just got caught spreading smiles on Facebook with a like notification here. Thought I’d come back and add in this link for his SEO, because he liked my post, and has a harmonic reason for being here. 🙂

This article is starting to get out of hand, and I like losing control of my laughter, so I’m going to keep putting links for the people who encourage it with their attitudes of pleasure. Thanks for the chuckle Otrazhenie.

It was great to read this post from Brad after writing the last paragraph, because his article supported it in a way that didn’t bring me laughter, but made me want to ask; is blogging a symbiotic relationship? This post, his like, my link, and his article…with my like…. 🙂 After further review, I’m finding that he has a menu item dedicated to humor, so if you want a laugh, I’m sure you’ll find one free here.

Perfect timing Erik. I enjoy reading your smoky love poems and the presentation of your writing is top notch! I wish I had the talents to make the face of my blog as aesthetically pleasing as yours. Thanks for letting me know you were here and liked this post. My reference in the first paragraph to jolly trolling, was your article here, so it won’t hurt my feelings if you never take it out of moderation. It was interesting to read your “about” page while researching for this link placement, I hope your book series brings you happiness and prosperity, now I see why we enjoy each others craft. I found this link in your “just for fun” category, and it gave me a medicinal grin. 🙂

How to Find Gold: Know Where to Look

Pride stands on the top of a mountain in the sun, grinning as a win tomorrow.  At the bottom of a pit curled in a ball, crying tears of shame into the lonely dark, was the loss of yesterday.  These are the perceptions of polarization, the angels and demons that battle for serenity.

Devotion runs through the dappled shade of the moment, with tears drying in patches of sunshine, and a humble beginning surrendered today, to the spirit of our wordplay: Please welcome Jessica to WordPress, by peppering her blog with likes, comments, shares, and follows!!!

I remember what it felt like to begin blogging here, how each new follow was exciting, and I’d watch the scales of my stats to evaluate how good I was. Faith in my purpose guided me through my shaky beginning, and her purpose tastes healthy to me, so while I don’t think she’ll need our help immediately, why not give it?

I’m perpetually thankful for the encouragement I get, and wouldn’t it be cool to give somebody a full round of applause just for joining us? She will run into the same challenges we all do as writers, learning the tricks of how her words fit together to strengthen her voice, while sharing her vulnerabilities by opening her journal to the world. She says, “Here I am. Send me”, so let’s send her like a home run baseball for the sake of how it will feel for her, and how it would have felt for us!!


“Send us to the nations, to the broken. Lead us to surrender we will go.”

During worship, I will often open my journal, write down a lyric, and piggyback a journal entry from those lyrics. Through these lyrics I am reminded of the word “surrender.” I love this definition of surrender: “to abandon oneself entirely to,” to abandon oneself entirely to Christ, or the calling of God’s life. When you look up surrender it quickly is defined as losing, giving up, or being defeated. However, in Christ, “surrender” simply means to give full control over oneself. Now I say “simply,” but if you are a Christian, you will know it is not a simple task to surrender completely. One of my favorite places in the bible is Isaiah 6:8. “Then I heard the voice of the Lord, ‘Whom shall I send and who will go for us?’ and I said…

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Put some of this in your pipe

I’ve had strangers tell me they wanted to have some of whatever I was smoking.  The smile on their face told me it wasn’t fake, as they weren’t biting the flesh on my back in resentment of my happiness, and trying to dim my shine.  They had seen the strength of my attitude blazing with gratitude, and contagion had set in.  They wanted some, and I had it to share.

This gal reminded me of that foreign feeling where weird meets fun and acceptance, by a stranger.  It didn’t come with doubt, worry, or fading purpose, it rode in on a white horse with tail afire.  The dust it left behind by stomping across my brain, was this post.  Good luck with Facebook gal although it looks like you’re doing great

If you look carefully at the tree growth in the middle, you'll see that the foliage isn't the same.  I discovered this while trying to get through it.  Being seventy feet up in the tree, I thought the climbing would get easier and was surprised to find it impenetrably odd.

If you look carefully at the tree growth in the middle, you’ll see that the foliage isn’t the same. I discovered this while trying to get through it. Being seventy feet up in the tree, I thought the climbing would get easier as the limbs would be closer together.  I was surprised to find it impenetrable as the unified limbs had grown into a mass of twisted growth.  It became my favorite tree in the park that day, as a place I could not go, but still wished I had in a beautiful failure.  I could go up there with a saw and make a path through the branches, but I prefer to point it out to others in the park, because the moment of rejection was what brought me to love the tree. 




with WordPress, so you might not need it.

A strategy for coping with a narcissitic culture

In my path towards emotional well-being, I’ve been doing my best to understand how the direction I choose to lean in responses to life’s challenges, determines my contentment in a narcissistic culture. That’s the way I see the economy of the world these days, it’s narcissistic in the way that it’s addicted to its reflection in the mirror. People are the mirror, and the power behind cash is looking at itself with greed.

I scored a 12 on a test determining how narcissistic I am, but the test results would change depending on my mood and circumstance. For example, in my patterns of coping with misery I’d score low, while in the state of enthusiasm embracing a dream, I’d score higher……it’s been a fascinating concept that I’ve studied for several years.

I wonder what would be the healthiest spiritual score, or what a sociopath might decide to give themselves, knowing what the answers would mean for the results. Psych central generalized the scores saying that 12-15 is average, and that people like celebrities would score higher in the range. What is your score?

What is the balancing point of health between generous and selfish decision-making? As I don’t want to be a monk pursuing the perfection of compassion for ants, I wonder at my hunger for power. How much will be enough to satisfy my natural tendencies of showmanship, and the basic needs for my ambitions? Power is scary to me, as it’s one of the basic hungers for us as animals, and I need to have a way to quench the thirst, without becoming drunk on it as an Executive.

How can I define for myself boundaries for responding to others, in a way that is ethically and morally righteous, without sacrificing my financial stability and dreams? In an ethical business, the question of narcissism would be about fair trade and health of the workers.

Since I was a kid, I’ve had the degenerative habit of helping people more than I help myself. This is why I’m seeking to improve my responses to different people, and establish a more formalized approach to my generosity. I’m narcissist bait. They can smell the tendency to help on me like a pheromone, and I don’t want to continue to invest in people who see the world as revolving around them, only to have them scorn me when I ask for what I need, or say no to a request.

Who is narcissistic in a healthy way, and who is just using me? It’s a hard question to ask, and one that doesn’t feel good to bring into a friendship, but it has become part of my survival, so I want to improve the diagnostics of it. These are questions I ask of my heart and head for the sake of preserving community and love, amongst my family and friends.

As a reader, you are welcome to use of my efforts here for your benefit, as that is a main part of my intention for blogging, and if you are a narcissist I pity you, but if you are bait like me, I pity you also. Maybe someday we can have a healthier friendship, trading equitable efforts for satisfaction, but until that day, I will continue to attempt to inspire you with mine, in the hope that if I need to say no, or take a break, we can still be friends.

I love my blog, and as the traffic here grows with my skills in social media and writing, I’ve found the trade in it more enjoyable. It’s taken me years of investing money and time to reach this point, and I appreciate the people who have been here encouraging me along the way.

I love that when I write something spicy and rowdy, Lesley likes it, and every time I go to her blog, I enjoy a shared sense of adventure.

Having a muse is valuable to me, so I want to again appreciateIW, as we share a common dynamic of thought, and it provokes my fingers tapping on the keys. If I ever get writers block, I’ll show up.

Finding the irony of your blog OM, is perpetually satisfying to me. For years now I’ve been stimulated by your articles, meeting your intention of irritating everybody wholeheartedly, with a balanced approach when you manage to irritate me. If you didn’t manage to irritate me, I would question how much I care about you, so your winning me over with your content good or bad. As ever, I appreciate the charms of your technique.

I’m loving the new photographs emanating from Poland thatEmerald Wake is producing, and I say emanate to communicate how much I’m surprised by the vivid colors that I hadn’t known were possible in an image.

As usual Marina, you are a godsend. Every time I go away for months, and learn to regret it because my traffic is dismal, there you are encouraging me with likes, for most of what I write. With the exception of the time you took to move with your husband, you haven’t given me a chance to miss you, and that I hold dear.

Steven, I will be coming to your site to remedy the missing of your voice here soon, and hope I haven’t offended you with my slapstick voyages into taboo subjects. When I write about the wildness of men like you, I think of you and worry that I may be sacrificing our friendship, with the cagey words of my expressions. Please don’t take anything personal, as I still look forward to eating swan with the Queen, and I don’t anticipate that changing. 😉

To the newer friends I’m growing to appreciate, including any I haven’t mentioned specifically above, or here:Christine, Shawn,TK,Erik,Dennis, and Christina, this link will help your SEO, and it can only attempt to show you the gratitude you deserve for your efforts in encouraging me here. I’m curious to learn more about you, while balancing my pursuit of traffic, so if I’m not liking your stuff, blame me for following too many people, and writing more than I read. I wish I could catch what you write every day, as it feels imbalanced at times for you to admire me, with no return.

I love to see who appreciates what in terms of my writing, so it’s always fun to find a new like or follow. As I know I’ve missed many contributors to my passion for this canvas with this batch of thanks, and I hope you haven’t taken it personal, if I didn’t link this to the fruits of your imagination.

Without the likes and follows of this blog, my writing would still be like this boat. Thank you, I feel it starting to float.

Without the likes and follows of this blog, my writing would still be like this boat. Thank you, I feel it starting to float.