How to Find Gold: Know Where to Look

Pride stands on the top of a mountain in the sun, grinning as a win tomorrow.  At the bottom of a pit curled in a ball, crying tears of shame into the lonely dark, was the loss of yesterday.  These are the perceptions of polarization, the angels and demons that battle for serenity.

Devotion runs through the dappled shade of the moment, with tears drying in patches of sunshine, and a humble beginning surrendered today, to the spirit of our wordplay: Please welcome Jessica to WordPress, by peppering her blog with likes, comments, shares, and follows!!!

I remember what it felt like to begin blogging here, how each new follow was exciting, and I’d watch the scales of my stats to evaluate how good I was. Faith in my purpose guided me through my shaky beginning, and her purpose tastes healthy to me, so while I don’t think she’ll need our help immediately, why not give it?

I’m perpetually thankful for the encouragement I get, and wouldn’t it be cool to give somebody a full round of applause just for joining us? She will run into the same challenges we all do as writers, learning the tricks of how her words fit together to strengthen her voice, while sharing her vulnerabilities by opening her journal to the world. She says, “Here I am. Send me”, so let’s send her like a home run baseball for the sake of how it will feel for her, and how it would have felt for us!!


“Send us to the nations, to the broken. Lead us to surrender we will go.”

During worship, I will often open my journal, write down a lyric, and piggyback a journal entry from those lyrics. Through these lyrics I am reminded of the word “surrender.” I love this definition of surrender: “to abandon oneself entirely to,” to abandon oneself entirely to Christ, or the calling of God’s life. When you look up surrender it quickly is defined as losing, giving up, or being defeated. However, in Christ, “surrender” simply means to give full control over oneself. Now I say “simply,” but if you are a Christian, you will know it is not a simple task to surrender completely. One of my favorite places in the bible is Isaiah 6:8. “Then I heard the voice of the Lord, ‘Whom shall I send and who will go for us?’ and I said…

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Focus Stall Ranting

I enjoyed your article, as I also find myself in the unenviable position, of freezing my life due to heart breaks, to reflect on the patterns in the pain of the past. As you said, my symptoms are flight, fight, and freeze.

On my blogging adventure, I’m fighting by writing for the growth of my well-being, and yesterday I watched an interesting video on the study of perspective in time, that helps build my serenity for that purpose.

In the flight from emotional pain over the last year, I’ve become fascinated by how time relates to my spirituality and identity. It has a harsh impact on the judgements of others for who I am(an emotional trigger you shared too),so you I hope this video helps you too. Food for thought in The Secret Powers of Time.  The only criticism I would give, is that I wouldn’t choose to represent the present tense derogatorily as “Present Hedonist”, as I find the spiritual practice of “Mindfullness”, and living in the moment, bring me contentment.

I used my desire to comment on your article, as a motivator to edit my long list of backlogged drafts, so thanks for sharing your struggle, it inspired me to improve this article from 2012:

Why am I doubting the darkness, and interrogating the sun? Why does the cold make me angry, and the heat make me sad? What is this thing that makes me look up, expecting to see the ceiling, and finding the closet floor? What is the combination of the lock to the cellar door?

Why am I so tired, with rest evading me like a bouncing deer? Staring at one of my biggest fears, shaking my head and grinning, a mantra uttered to survive. Turning on the music, taking a shower, shaving, turning up the music, dancing, singing, drinking water….

Taking on something simple while physically demanding, as a challenge that will exhaust me to complete. A work that takes all of it away, and leaves me trembling for a different reason, than the one that motivated me to write this.

It’s a precipice, a focus stall, a pit. The scattering fragmentation and suffering of doubts, popping up like bubbles in a boil.

Putting my ear muffs on to cancel out the noise of the chain saws hitting rock, in my head, and again, turning up the music. Dancing to feeling it, loving it as a moment in time. Always as my salvation, the double safeties with end knots, rescuing my lost soul.

A place of absorption with mind whipping like a snake rattle…I’m barely alive. Outside the door lying under the floor, lurks my passions, perseverance, drive, resilience, sanctuary, art, and focus. Play that makes me tall, a work that fixes all.

It’s the decision that’s already been made, and a willingness to pursue it with dogged focus. Getting it done for me, means learning to transcend the focus stalls with grace.

So if you see me with bloodshot eyes and grinning, sweating while lifting, moving at high-speed, know that what you see is glee, buried in an uncontrollable passion to finish.

I have no choice to make at this point. My life has become make or die, and I love being an Artist Builder. Thanks again for inspiring me to lift this back up, by writing about the dynamics of your mental health, and the scientific study of it. Be well.

This is little blue man.  He glows in the dark.  My third puppet.  Made from reclaimed Douglas Fir, Yew wood, and an assortment of semi precious stone beads.

This is little blue man. He glows in the dark, and is my third puppet. Made from reclaimed Douglas Fir, Yew wood, and an assortment of semiprecious stone beads.  His strings are cut, because making him was my passion, and controlling him didn’t bring me happiness.



This is what I want, with grace, mischief, and fun:

This picture and post are divided in half to keep you from knowing what sucks. If you like that it sucks, please share it on other forms of social media! Thank you for reading my blog!!

The feedback was solid this morning. I am annoyingly divided into fragments of focus and amazingly difficult to understand. Well, that’s not exactly what they said, but it rang true. This is the idea within some of the script on these blogs, as I face the poetry inside the boxy structure of English, and struggle to make solid prose while maintaining a creative edge on grammar. Triple meanings, double entendre, code, abstraction, vague as smoke, synonymous relationship, exotic, mechanical erotica freedom writing.

This is a short story of flow as the post is broken in two. Releasing the before and after together like a well prepared bill for a job well done. Back to back. Shoulder to shoulder. Let the polarization be understandable for the more singular, grounded and emotionally consistent minds. I hope to be one (in moderation) and do that, by doing this: writing here, expressing myself with multimedia networking while honestly pursuing donations, marketing, and promotion of my art…..that I love to give away.

So good morning, or whatever is the appropriate farewell for your time zone, and I hope you enjoyed the mischief. I love to snare attention with play, as it floats my kid joy boat.

Prosperity in a cave.

I will have prosperity rain down from the sky, winking in the moonlight, silver droplets, molten forming art, a wallet of metal, a glisten of sparkle, wrapped around me, in a jacket of wealth. Let my hems be sewn with rubies, my belts be laced with emeralds. I see a mountain of wealth in the lair that is my mind. By this time tomorrow, the mountain will go again, trembling shakes beneath my feet, rattling cutlery and china on the tabletops of the heartland, spewing large chunks of melting gold across the garden. I will be as the sleeping dragon, smoke billowing from my ears, atop the pile of filigreed books, when the slightest disturbance is heard, I will be anticipating, another nap, and another meal.
-the dragons lair-