The Stamp On My Sixteenth Year

Bulldozer tracks in mud.

Deep in your belly a thud.

Dried cracking dying earth.

Slayed mirth.

It’s the only poem I’ve written that I remember by heart.  Its taken me to the top of the mountains, and the bottom of the jail cells.  It sank in, won’t be stripped away, and burnt a purpose across my soul.

You wonder why I drop my phones, ditch my cars, and fade into the forest.  You ask if I’m thinking straight, doubt that I care, and wish I’d stuck around.

Blame the poem of my sixteenth year, as it wrote into me, what it was, to be free.

While I do not regret what it does, I wrote this in the hope of a new poem, that you can meet in the burn behind my eyes.


How to Find Gold: Know Where to Look

Pride stands on the top of a mountain in the sun, grinning as a win tomorrow.  At the bottom of a pit curled in a ball, crying tears of shame into the lonely dark, was the loss of yesterday.  These are the perceptions of polarization, the angels and demons that battle for serenity.

Devotion runs through the dappled shade of the moment, with tears drying in patches of sunshine, and a humble beginning surrendered today, to the spirit of our wordplay: Please welcome Jessica to WordPress, by peppering her blog with likes, comments, shares, and follows!!!

I remember what it felt like to begin blogging here, how each new follow was exciting, and I’d watch the scales of my stats to evaluate how good I was. Faith in my purpose guided me through my shaky beginning, and her purpose tastes healthy to me, so while I don’t think she’ll need our help immediately, why not give it?

I’m perpetually thankful for the encouragement I get, and wouldn’t it be cool to give somebody a full round of applause just for joining us? She will run into the same challenges we all do as writers, learning the tricks of how her words fit together to strengthen her voice, while sharing her vulnerabilities by opening her journal to the world. She says, “Here I am. Send me”, so let’s send her like a home run baseball for the sake of how it will feel for her, and how it would have felt for us!!


“Send us to the nations, to the broken. Lead us to surrender we will go.”

During worship, I will often open my journal, write down a lyric, and piggyback a journal entry from those lyrics. Through these lyrics I am reminded of the word “surrender.” I love this definition of surrender: “to abandon oneself entirely to,” to abandon oneself entirely to Christ, or the calling of God’s life. When you look up surrender it quickly is defined as losing, giving up, or being defeated. However, in Christ, “surrender” simply means to give full control over oneself. Now I say “simply,” but if you are a Christian, you will know it is not a simple task to surrender completely. One of my favorite places in the bible is Isaiah 6:8. “Then I heard the voice of the Lord, ‘Whom shall I send and who will go for us?’ and I said…

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A key to the garden gate

for love is

religion isn’t

shaking power

already given to

no need for graphite

oil in the mechanism

parted the rose thorns

brushed away rust years

the keyhole shines of buff

fresh coats of tears on wood

all paths lead to the threshold

you wake up blinking into the sun

heat rises in your eyelashes of pain

a phone wandering late into the night

missing how it should unmake me feel

the wall is standing taller against stares

swept the inside clear of dirt and shrub

planted flowers for what it was before

threw dirt on what it never will be

crammed clay in the lockway

stuck a nail in the keyway

it was never locked

still you pound

from far


of me

Success for the Entreprenurial Artist

084Maybe I should start a hotline: 1-800-2gr-aves, and hire out as muse for revenge. It’s always seemed like more fun to think about it, than to actually do it.

I could be a denizen of hate, wearing a cape with the symbol of mutual demise, and paint my soul onto the seeds of war.

Unfortunately as an artist, this is just another example of way I could make lot’s of money, by meeting the demand of a tainted spirit.

Let me know if you want a business plan, as I have too many, and it bores me to think of the ones I know will work easily.

Give me a slice of impossible, mixed with challenge I might never meet. I live for a climb up a ladder with no rungs, a rope with a grappling hook of spaghetti, and a group of friends who toil tirelessly, to dig a dream well.

Keep your spite, anger, profits, and earnings. I want passive income in a stream of effort, building into a dam that will blow into sharing, for the betterment of people who dare to care.085

I know people who sweat on the tear drops of disappointing times, and they bed down on the loneliness of collectivism, in a house of individuals.

With their last breaths they pump community supplies, each heartbeat as a vision of planting seeds, into the demands of an age.

So yes, add a “Donation Button” to your blog, as it’s proven to work, and if your efforts continue to build the well-being of all, your reward should be to share in it.

Here is a comprehensive analysis of how to generate income blogging, from an old schooler whose second biggest income stream, comes from donations.090

As we share the wind on the boat named “Media Medicine”, I hope this helps to fill your sales.

As a kid

As a kid, one of the things that consistently gives me what I need:

Many things mesmerize me, entrance me with focus, shock me with grace, stun me with beauty, stall me with meanness, or leave me laughing at my flow. Not many of them make me feel everything all at once, for long periods of time.

Love has done that for me, but left in a position to define how I feel when it’s gone, the only thing remaining that’s immediately available to represent what my words cannot, is Art. This art. Any art.

Welcome to my story. I’m absorbing myself in it, wrapping myself in a cocoon of breathes, and singing it in my minds eyes.

I believe in my heart that righteous intention revels at my fingertips, and as I start pieces with my greatest glee hopes, everything will be okay with my love.

It’s like taking a satisfying nap when your tired, having no schedule, no appointments, and only one agenda when you wake up: to focus, and improve.  When did we decide that naps are only for little kids, because as I edit this and hope to improve it for the 20th time, I’m remembering loving to read and write like this at 3 in the morning, when I was eleven.

Looking for what’s next, or editing, is the awkward part. I get sidetracked as curiosity leads me to something different. I pursue a favorite past time like studying an idea, and time is gone.

One of my favorite books to fully embrace a sidetrack, is the thesaurus. It has many forms now, some of them quite fantastic. I still anticipate opening the crisp pages of a new one(to me), maybe a 1962 version, with quotes.

When a word is defined, I am lost in it’s rules and structure. On the other hand when I freely associate an idea, releasing the hold on what I think, and break down the meaning to myself with synonyms and antonyms, then I have a whole picture. This is one of the reasons I enjoy Chinese.

The language as I’m aware of it, is an example of this concept. The words are broken into characters which represent separate things, that combined make a meaning. Deep and strong, ancient texts may be read presently, as the structure of the language holds it’s shape.

My native language of English is constantly changing, and the dictionaries continue to be the biggest collections of definitions on earth, as we redefine words and add new ones like lunatickle.

Living outside the rules, justifications, structure, philosophy, and perceptions of society became a way of life for me as a kid and artist. It’s the questioning of intelligence, education, culture, economics, and design, in order to visualize a symbolization, that expresses my feelings of saturation in the passion to create.

The most accomplished categorization we can give in academia which is recognized worldly as honorable, is given to those who can transcend the fundamental structure of our belief system in order to develop a new idea.  Isn’t that what I just described as the way kids think?

During which point in history did we decide that practical conversation, logical thought, and rational, were superior to illogical creativity, illustrious music, charming social skills, storytelling, intuition, adaptation of perception, motivation towards passionate pursuits over material goods, imagination, visualization, community, sharing, and getting better at playing games?

Why are all the playgrounds being replaced with timid and lame miniaturized versions of what used to be? Something is wrong with this picture.

The shade of color from the background is making me sick, it throws off my balance clashing with the other colors that are me. I wish to build playgrounds so dangerous that the kids who get on them have to be half wild and scared, to dare to play. I hope and pray for this day.

Our basic education structure for the masses reflects this in many ways. Where are the open sourced curriculum plans, alternative grading philosophies, and student led classrooms? Why am I subjected to below par un-fun educational dynamics each time I go to school?

If my life is a school, how should I think about my day to day education in economics and job experiences? The moment I figured out, “O!, now I understand the way compound interest works against me!!”, what was I supposed to do, or think? So this is how it feels to be poor and categorized, labeled, defined, described, or depicted as less valuable?

I will learn from each moment absorbing the world like a sponge, each action of the day becoming a ceremony of the way to become better at what I make, gain new insight into creation, and develop new process towards vision.

It’s a personal R & D department and a lifestyle of enthusiasm for something of value, in a pursuit of Art. So am I claiming this is a doctoral thesis at the bottom of the page, or getting out frustration and avoiding degenerative forms of insanity, by justifying feeling like a fool?

The way of evaluating our perceptions and the world, is based no longer on spiritual faith, feelings, experience, mythology, stories, inherited talents, or intuition, but on science and math.

Proving something to be true makes it true fact, and accepting what we know? These feels docile, sheltered, boring and slow, which describes devolution perfectly.

One of the keys to my happiness is teaching and learning creatively, free associatively, and imaginatively outside the institutionalized education structure. I hope I did this here, feel fee to add what you think anywhere on this website to encourage me on this pursuit.  

Braces for the first piece of furniture I finished with satisfaction.