Building Blocks to Preserve Friendships

Since my experiences in managing and owning businesses have consistently agreed with the notion to not mix business and friendship, is it a good plan to start a non-profit with my friends?

As an Executive Director in Training, I can only hope that a link to this article can be a block to build and preserve, the relationships that I hold dear. From the onset of the organizing stage(which is now), I’m planning how to distribute power effectively, so my fellow workers will enjoy contributing, to fulfill the mission.

The board will act as a body of accountability, keeping me from becoming a fascist dictator, but how can I behave as an equal from the beginning? I’m not sure I can, or should. Is the world an equal place? Do I believe in equality? I believe in preserving the rights of individuals to pursue equality, but not in the idea that it will ever exist.

I have talents and skills that I’ve spent my whole life building. I cannot pretend to be less than I am, so others will feel good. No matter how humble I become, there will always be people who envy me, and wish to spite me out of the unequal options that I have earned, been given, or stopped sharing with them, because they are greedy.

Should I break all of the relationships from my birth, in the interest of starting with a clean slate of privilege, just to earn a less fortunate persons respect? How do I respond to people who are stuck in what they don’t have, and want to shame me for what I do?

I grow weary of friends judgements of me, because I’m lucky enough to have a family that is supportive. Am I generous enough? How does that look? I had a close friend tell me in frustration, that the only reason I ask these questions, is because I’m lucky enough to be able to. Maybe he’s right in calling it “Privileged Guilt”, but then again, has he ever talked to a monk, because I see it as a matter of perception.

In pursuing my dream of TATWIP, and the idea of a shared workspace/volunteer/mentor-ship lifestyle, I’m coming to terms with the idea that it’s okay to build my power. I’ve spent years dismantling it by helping other people, and that has brought me cold nights alone, and a physical weight that reflects my frustrations, for an economy that stomps on people.

I don’t want to be responsible for other people’s tasks, but as a dedicated dreamer, I find that the only way to accomplish them, is to develop a talent for inspiring others, to share in the fruits of my dreams. I will do this by building my power up, and then stripping it from my shoulders when the dream comes to fruition. Stripping it from my shoulders is a visualization they should understand, as who likes a boss? I don’t like being called a boss, do you?

How does this sound to you? I’m broke now, but I don’t have to be. I could be rich if I wanted to, but I’m not motivated by money. My motivation comes from the questions I ask here. Is that guilt? Hoping to preserve my passion to manifest visions, is the only thing that I can hold onto. Does that sound like doubting myself because of your misfortunes?

I know what it feels like to sleep fitfully, while shivering on the ground with a growling stomach. Being homeless can be fun if you choose it. I have lot’s of homeless friends, and others in low places, that bring me happiness.

It’s a matter of hope to me. I know that if I need anything in my life, some of the people who I’ve given my love to, will provide it in the way that they can. Poor people feed me, and are happy to do it, when I’m hungry. Rich people have fun partying with me, fulfilling my need to let loose, when I’m jolly.

The doubts of this article have plagued me, ever since people started telling me I was more lucky than them. I’m Irish, I can’t help that I win games, with an obscene average of balls falling in the hole by accident!!

I’ve been weary of the perception of being better off than others, for too long. It makes me sick to be alive, and I can only write this in the hope that my motivations, can survive the guilt trips in the future, with less impact on my time and energy.

“They harbor a secret hatred, for the prettiest girl in the room.”

Are you harboring a resentment of my privilege and power? Do you want some of mine? I’ve got lot’s to give. I just gave you some here. It’s the power of being humble, while aspiring to excellence.

I’m a teacher, and don’t make any money at it. Does this stop me from doing it? No. Do you love money? I don’t think you do. I think you love what money can do. Do you love what money can do for you more, or what it can do for others that you care about?

Welcome to my reality friend. I’ll be building my power back up, as I’m single and ready to change that again, while planning to get you laid too.

I’ve had enough satisfying love in my life, and seen enough misery painted on other people’s love life, to know that hooking you up with somebody I know, could potentially be more fun and easier, than falling in love again for me.

It’s always been a tricky thing for me to navigate the halls of power, while wanting to share it. Reading about what women are attracted to, gave me insight into why I feel this way. I think it was a wiki how, or something of that nature, but it’s the reason why I’m an Executive Director in training: My potential to fulfill all of the requirements of that attraction, makes it my biggest vulnerability.

For example, I was given social power from birth. My parents are “upstanding middle class” citizens, that other people might consider “upper middle class”. With my childhood came the training of answering a telephone acceptably as, “Hello, this is Benjamin, may I ask who’s calling please?” With that one sentence nailed, I’ve got a happy middle class career started, as a receptionist.

Should I be a receptionist then? Will you accept me as your Director? Do you think I have anything to teach you? Do you think I am humble enough, to accept that I’m potentially your best student, as I admire your talents for skills I don’t have?

I’ve gained ten pounds, and the pink of my skin is starting to turn into a tan, because I’ve managed to humble myself enough to process the shame, of asking for a place to stay with a full refrigerator.

I’m sitting on a patio in the sun, looking at a swimming pool, and doing my best to relax for the sake of my recovery, from failing in my ambitions again. From a year of street wisdom survival, sleeping in the same place only twice and moving on, I’ve managed to stay put for a month.

Gaining ten pounds for you might be easy, but it’s never been easy for me. I’m still ten pounds underweight from where I started three years ago, and it feels good to be building myself back up.

I want more weight in muscle than I ever had. I want to be healthy and strong. I aspire to be awesome, because I’m thankful of the things that make me feel lucky, and it’s the only thing I’ll accept as a goal.

I’m thankful for my family and friends. For the people who put up with my latest trail of tears, while I faced my worst fears. As the pounds bring me back to feeling as weird as I can in a healthy way, and the days turn into harmonic correspondence with people who share common dreams, I’m visualizing what the campaign for my purposes, will look like.

If I wanted to be elected to public office, I wouldn’t have published a slice of what I have. If power dominated my appetite, I would have kept my mouth shut and my head down, while building loads of it controlling other people’s effort. That’s not my dream, and will never be my path to long-term contentment, as an Artist Builder.

I feel blessed in my life, and always have. As far as I’m concerned, my opportunities have always been prevalent, potentially awesome, and particularly lucky.

Watching a video about drive, squashed my doubts as an artist, about how money isn’t my motivator. I don’t need to feel guilty anymore for the blessings I’ve been given, as I’m doing my best to live an ethical life, in the only way I can.

My father taught me how to work hard, and that volunteering for the wealth of my community, is the healthiest purpose I could build. He has a masters in business, but uses it for the greater good, instead of personal riches. I love that about him, and as he does, so do I.

Let’s do it folks. If you want to donate money or time, excellent, as I have tools, toys, titles, and a deed for dedication, and would love to have the dream of TATWIP bear fruit!! If not, that’s cool too, as that list of millionaires I keep mentioning is waiting for a team like ours, to remedy the doubts they haven’t addressed, like I did here.

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The pharmacy of your mind prescribing for my pleasure

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