A strategy for coping with a narcissitic culture

In my path towards emotional well-being, I’ve been doing my best to understand how the direction I choose to lean in responses to life’s challenges, determines my contentment in a narcissistic culture. That’s the way I see the economy of the world these days, it’s narcissistic in the way that it’s addicted to its reflection in the mirror. People are the mirror, and the power behind cash is looking at itself with greed.

I scored a 12 on a test determining how narcissistic I am, but the test results would change depending on my mood and circumstance. For example, in my patterns of coping with misery I’d score low, while in the state of enthusiasm embracing a dream, I’d score higher……it’s been a fascinating concept that I’ve studied for several years.

I wonder what would be the healthiest spiritual score, or what a sociopath might decide to give themselves, knowing what the answers would mean for the results. Psych central generalized the scores saying that 12-15 is average, and that people like celebrities would score higher in the range. What is your score?

What is the balancing point of health between generous and selfish decision-making? As I don’t want to be a monk pursuing the perfection of compassion for ants, I wonder at my hunger for power. How much will be enough to satisfy my natural tendencies of showmanship, and the basic needs for my ambitions? Power is scary to me, as it’s one of the basic hungers for us as animals, and I need to have a way to quench the thirst, without becoming drunk on it as an Executive.

How can I define for myself boundaries for responding to others, in a way that is ethically and morally righteous, without sacrificing my financial stability and dreams? In an ethical business, the question of narcissism would be about fair trade and health of the workers.

Since I was a kid, I’ve had the degenerative habit of helping people more than I help myself. This is why I’m seeking to improve my responses to different people, and establish a more formalized approach to my generosity. I’m narcissist bait. They can smell the tendency to help on me like a pheromone, and I don’t want to continue to invest in people who see the world as revolving around them, only to have them scorn me when I ask for what I need, or say no to a request.

Who is narcissistic in a healthy way, and who is just using me? It’s a hard question to ask, and one that doesn’t feel good to bring into a friendship, but it has become part of my survival, so I want to improve the diagnostics of it. These are questions I ask of my heart and head for the sake of preserving community and love, amongst my family and friends.

As a reader, you are welcome to use of my efforts here for your benefit, as that is a main part of my intention for blogging, and if you are a narcissist I pity you, but if you are bait like me, I pity you also. Maybe someday we can have a healthier friendship, trading equitable efforts for satisfaction, but until that day, I will continue to attempt to inspire you with mine, in the hope that if I need to say no, or take a break, we can still be friends.

I love my blog, and as the traffic here grows with my skills in social media and writing, I’ve found the trade in it more enjoyable. It’s taken me years of investing money and time to reach this point, and I appreciate the people who have been here encouraging me along the way.

I love that when I write something spicy and rowdy, Lesley likes it, and every time I go to her blog, I enjoy a shared sense of adventure.

Having a muse is valuable to me, so I want to again appreciateIW, as we share a common dynamic of thought, and it provokes my fingers tapping on the keys. If I ever get writers block, I’ll show up.

Finding the irony of your blog OM, is perpetually satisfying to me. For years now I’ve been stimulated by your articles, meeting your intention of irritating everybody wholeheartedly, with a balanced approach when you manage to irritate me. If you didn’t manage to irritate me, I would question how much I care about you, so your winning me over with your content good or bad. As ever, I appreciate the charms of your technique.

I’m loving the new photographs emanating from Poland thatEmerald Wake is producing, and I say emanate to communicate how much I’m surprised by the vivid colors that I hadn’t known were possible in an image.

As usual Marina, you are a godsend. Every time I go away for months, and learn to regret it because my traffic is dismal, there you are encouraging me with likes, for most of what I write. With the exception of the time you took to move with your husband, you haven’t given me a chance to miss you, and that I hold dear.

Steven, I will be coming to your site to remedy the missing of your voice here soon, and hope I haven’t offended you with my slapstick voyages into taboo subjects. When I write about the wildness of men like you, I think of you and worry that I may be sacrificing our friendship, with the cagey words of my expressions. Please don’t take anything personal, as I still look forward to eating swan with the Queen, and I don’t anticipate that changing. πŸ˜‰

To the newer friends I’m growing to appreciate, including any I haven’t mentioned specifically above, or here:Christine, Shawn,TK,Erik,Dennis, and Christina, this link will help your SEO, and it can only attempt to show you the gratitude you deserve for your efforts in encouraging me here. I’m curious to learn more about you, while balancing my pursuit of traffic, so if I’m not liking your stuff, blame me for following too many people, and writing more than I read. I wish I could catch what you write every day, as it feels imbalanced at times for you to admire me, with no return.

I love to see who appreciates what in terms of my writing, so it’s always fun to find a new like or follow. As I know I’ve missed many contributors to my passion for this canvas with this batch of thanks, and I hope you haven’t taken it personal, if I didn’t link this to the fruits of your imagination.

Without the likes and follows of this blog, my writing would still be like this boat. Thank you, I feel it starting to float.

Without the likes and follows of this blog, my writing would still be like this boat. Thank you, I feel it starting to float.

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6 comments

  1. Oh Benjamin, I am so sorry. I have fallen behind with everyone, these past few weeks – lots of stuff has got in the way, and I’ve created a lot more than I’ve read. I feel the same as you about the imbalance… it does make me feel rather guilty, so I’m trying to fix that when I can.

    You most certainly have not offended me, and you’ve no need to worry, though I admit, I’m rather touched that you did worry about such things! You’re stuck with me for a while, yet, sir.

    I scored a 7 in that Narcissism test, by the way… I don’t know, I guess I was expecting higher than that… I’m sure on a higher day I would have broke the thing off the chart.

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    1. Ha! You don’t get to be sorry to me about anything! Maybe someday we’ll let each other down in person and have to hash out an unmet expectation, but until then, I’d like to continue to appreciate you for reading me and encouraging me in whatever way that is. “Expecting is my favorite crime, and disappointment is always my punishment” πŸ™‚ I could have predicted that you’d score like me, by your articles of the moment. That’s one of the reasons I mentioned you in the way I did. We are kindred spirits because we experience the whole spectrum of emotions, and I enjoy reading you even if it’s with a feeling of concern mixed with satisfaction when it tastes like a spike off the meter towards narcissism. In other words, I see your posts go into the territory of admirably happy and wild, knowing that something is working out in your life. Your sensitive with a high emotional intelligence, which is one of the things I value most in my friendships. I hold it especially dear when I find it as a trait in a man, so I’m pleased to hear that your inspired to write more. Read me less or more at the pleasure of your leisure, and please let me know if you feel yourself mired at the bottom of the scale, and I’ll do my best to encourage you to stand at a humble 7! Be well.

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      1. No you haven’t, and I’m glad to hear it. I love you too, for your energy here, your spunk, humor, and of course your dashing figure. Thank you for the nomination, I’ve been challenged to feel as awesome as I want today, so you came right on time.

        Like

      2. Haha, oh you. You will have me blushing.

        I hope you are now feeling sufficiently and suitably awesome! πŸ™‚

        Like

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