Your article farted, need some toilet paper?

Since this is a community of lightning fast encouragement, I pray that my lack of education in punctuation, doesn’t do me from behind with this post. I am not gay, but I find contentment in this place of blind appreciation, for art that brings me satisfaction.

Being brought up in a community of artistic circus freaks, gives me pause to clarify that last line…and this one too. I don’t care if you’re developmentally delayed, man, lesbian, woman, Jewish, or a sneaky kid expressing the wisdom and talent of your years. I want to see the best you have to offer, and from now on will give some of mine, in the hope of gracefully helping that happen.

If I am not satisfied with your work while being an enthusiast of comments with effort, should I write, “good job”, or “that’s swell”? When I find your text lacking in simple spelling corrections, it seems like a chunk of embarrassing food left over on your cheek, and I kick myself for not saying anything.

No more will I placate your lack of proofreading effort, or insufficient understanding of sentence structure with a “like”, and an empty box of constructive criticism. How can I say in code, that a line is failing the happiness of my eyes? How can I avoid shaming or embarrassing you in front of your audience?

Does anybody have a tricky way to give feedback so it won’t be misinterpreted as prideful trolling? Do you think I should fix anything in this article, so it will gain the respect of the more practiced artists in this craft?

Please return the favor, as I have work from the past three years lined up in a standing march of a hundred drafts that aren’t ready to share again, because I’m too busy making new words burn, and editing the ones I couldn’t bear to put out.

I look back at my work and am happy to report that it sucks. My lines are failures of perfect proportion to my skill, lying sullied with novice mistakes, and silly expressions. I’m sure my feeling of dissatisfaction will return to this one, with a keen stroking later…if I don’t get your help now.

As you read through the pages of my dreams, ideas, hopes, and whims, do you find yourself stumbling over misplaced stones in the path? Commas are an example of an editing challenge that prevents this mystery of tasty lines from coming out of me. I put them in to reflect patterns of my speech, as if I’m having a conversation with a reader, and trying to give them a sense of my rhythm, or when I want to build my passion to share.

This doesn’t mean it would be better if it reflected the English code of conduct, as this is my art, but I do know that it’s more fun to read if it flows well. The poetic justice found in messing with spoken English leads to laughter from my peers, so in my improvements as a writer I hope to harmonize with it, and it’s challenging to find a balance.

Should I let go of worrying about people’s feelings, and treat their art as a stand alone object? Would it be better to just lay out steaming piles of composting criticism that cook too hot, and burn the nutrients off the post I find irritating? What do I want?

I want honest reflections through other people’s filter. In the hope of improving my writing, I will pray to the idea of having many editors. This article is a bridge I’m building into your world. I hope the trolls from the fairy tales are real, because without a couple of disgruntled admirers, how can I know what is good enough?

Should I take the time out of my life, to go back to every fence I built, and see if it’s still standing strong? I usually wait for a customer to call, then I go to the site and decide whether it was a failure of mine in the making of the barrier, a matter of a lack of maintenance, or a fallen tree misinterpreted as my fault. If it’s something I’ve never done before, like write every day in the hope of making money, then I search through my first attempts with a critical eye, to preserve my career.

So please be the lightning that comes out of the sky to fry the posts of my fence, and feel free to write what you will on my comments. If you’re in doubt of being too mean, use the link to this article as proof to people who might judge you wrong, for giving me what I cannot give to you….for the fun of a well made script.

Seriously. Lay down some ugly. I grew up with Southern men yelling at me(they lost their hearing due to using power tools with no hearing protection) because their father’s did, so I’m comfortable with enthusiastic criticizers. If you find an article that squeaks too much, do me the big favor of telling me to get the grease gun.

When your comment blasts my phone, I’ll pursue harmonizing with your appetite diligently, and will do my best to take it seriously while preserving the presentation of the dish you returned to the kitchen, so I won’t need this toilet paper as much in the future:

Thanks for enjoying my blog. If you don’t for any reason, please read these articles, to inspire the fire in your remarks. 🙂
I hope you have a really shitty day sweating your work, because it’s only fun when it’s done as a team, and I want to be on yours.



  1. Well I am trying to get through all these posts you have been writing!! WOWzers 😀
    So as far as constructive criticism goes –
    I like the flow of your writing! Spelling and commas? I am useless!! (spell check created for me personally)
    I get slaughtered about punctuation – :/
    So we just learn more hey.
    But the commas n stuff give it the flow right? Who cares if it divides the sentence ‘wrongly’?

    Been reading away here for quite while and now it got late 😦
    Some great reads – I hope to come back and read some more again.


  2. Thank you for your feedback! I’ve been enjoying pounding the keys to produce new wordplay, and hearing that your enjoying it helps build my steam. Your totally right about the flow issue. I find it difficult to strip some sentences of their commas, even when I know they aren’t proper.

    A friend asked me if he could read my work out loud on stage, which was an awesome thing to have happen, but it makes me nervous knowing that it needs to be edited for the flow of verbalization.

    It feels like I’m a novice at this art mostly. I’ve had several people tell me that my “it’s and its” need work. Instead of taking the time to study the rules around these words, I’m avoiding them. Seems pretty silly now writing this. One thing at a time though. I love to write and enjoy feeling like my improvements are organic. Thank you for taking the time to read anything you choose to!


The pharmacy of your mind prescribing for my pleasure

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