To whom it may concern at Company W,
I’m currently unemployed and haven’t had a “real” job in a year. Frankly I’m overqualified for your position as a maintenance worker, and am only looking for certain tasks to fulfill my happiness and scheduling needs. I’m excited about the potential opportunity to work for you as a digger of holes and a breaker of rocks. Is this what you meant by construction laborer? I sing while I work and have quit a job in the past that didn’t allow this. How does this make you feel?
Money is not what motivates me to work, so if you have a mentor of rock breaking that would be even better. I might stick around for a few years if this was the case, but if not, I’m your man for a nasty job. That’s right. I want to work, and believe in the motto,”if I cannot dictate the conditions of my labor, I will henceforth…cease to work”. Let me know when you need me, as I’m totally available in an hour when my beer wears off.