As a kid, one of the things that consistently gives me what I need:
Many things mesmerize me, entrance me with focus, shock me with grace, stun me with beauty, stall me with meanness, or leave me laughing at my flow. Not many of them make me feel everything all at once, for long periods of time.
Love has done that for me, but left in a position to define how I feel when it’s gone, the only thing remaining that’s immediately available to represent what my words cannot, is Art. This art. Any art.
Welcome to my story. I’m absorbing myself in it, wrapping myself in a cocoon of breathes, and singing it in my minds eyes.
I believe in my heart that righteous intention revels at my fingertips, and as I start pieces with my greatest glee hopes, everything will be okay with my love.
It’s like taking a satisfying nap when your tired, having no schedule, no appointments, and only one agenda when you wake up: to focus, and improve. When did we decide that naps are only for little kids, because as I edit this and hope to improve it for the 20th time, I’m remembering loving to read and write like this at 3 in the morning, when I was eleven.
Looking for what’s next, or editing, is the awkward part. I get sidetracked as curiosity leads me to something different. I pursue a favorite past time like studying an idea, and time is gone.
One of my favorite books to fully embrace a sidetrack, is the thesaurus. It has many forms now, some of them quite fantastic. I still anticipate opening the crisp pages of a new one(to me), maybe a 1962 version, with quotes.
When a word is defined, I am lost in it’s rules and structure. On the other hand when I freely associate an idea, releasing the hold on what I think, and break down the meaning to myself with synonyms and antonyms, then I have a whole picture. This is one of the reasons I enjoy Chinese.
The language as I’m aware of it, is an example of this concept. The words are broken into characters which represent separate things, that combined make a meaning. Deep and strong, ancient texts may be read presently, as the structure of the language holds it’s shape.
My native language of English is constantly changing, and the dictionaries continue to be the biggest collections of definitions on earth, as we redefine words and add new ones like lunatickle.
Living outside the rules, justifications, structure, philosophy, and perceptions of society became a way of life for me as a kid and artist. It’s the questioning of intelligence, education, culture, economics, and design, in order to visualize a symbolization, that expresses my feelings of saturation in the passion to create.
The most accomplished categorization we can give in academia which is recognized worldly as honorable, is given to those who can transcend the fundamental structure of our belief system in order to develop a new idea. Isn’t that what I just described as the way kids think?
During which point in history did we decide that practical conversation, logical thought, and rational, were superior to illogical creativity, illustrious music, charming social skills, storytelling, intuition, adaptation of perception, motivation towards passionate pursuits over material goods, imagination, visualization, community, sharing, and getting better at playing games?
Why are all the playgrounds being replaced with timid and lame miniaturized versions of what used to be? Something is wrong with this picture.
The shade of color from the background is making me sick, it throws off my balance clashing with the other colors that are me. I wish to build playgrounds so dangerous that the kids who get on them have to be half wild and scared, to dare to play. I hope and pray for this day.
Our basic education structure for the masses reflects this in many ways. Where are the open sourced curriculum plans, alternative grading philosophies, and student led classrooms? Why am I subjected to below par un-fun educational dynamics each time I go to school?
If my life is a school, how should I think about my day to day education in economics and job experiences? The moment I figured out, “O!, now I understand the way compound interest works against me!!”, what was I supposed to do, or think? So this is how it feels to be poor and categorized, labeled, defined, described, or depicted as less valuable?
I will learn from each moment absorbing the world like a sponge, each action of the day becoming a ceremony of the way to become better at what I make, gain new insight into creation, and develop new process towards vision.
It’s a personal R & D department and a lifestyle of enthusiasm for something of value, in a pursuit of Art. So am I claiming this is a doctoral thesis at the bottom of the page, or getting out frustration and avoiding degenerative forms of insanity, by justifying feeling like a fool?
The way of evaluating our perceptions and the world, is based no longer on spiritual faith, feelings, experience, mythology, stories, inherited talents, or intuition, but on science and math.
Proving something to be true makes it true fact, and accepting what we know? These feels docile, sheltered, boring and slow, which describes devolution perfectly.
One of the keys to my happiness is teaching and learning creatively, free associatively, and imaginatively outside the institutionalized education structure. I hope I did this here, feel fee to add what you think anywhere on this website to encourage me on this pursuit.