Unrelenting self talk defines us

073I’ve been doing a better job at choosing the flavor on the memories that pervade my mind. It’s perpetually making me feel a little more like I did, as a kid.

My mom she said to me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything.” Well, as children will, I’d like to modify that a bit and say,”If you don’t have anything nice to think don’t think anything, and then, if you have to think, don’t believe everything you think.”

When I disappear into a story or a song, trust that my thoughts and feelings are potentially the artist’s, because that’s art defining culture, and I’d like to take a seriously fun look at what that is.

As the books start gathering in stacks of tens, I’ll do my best to remember that what I really need is food…and some new books.

I’d been waiting for the sun. Seems like when the berries are popping, I am too. You wanna know how I feel or what I’m doing? Go outside for a week. Are your clothes moldy, damp, and muddy, or sun bleached and sweat stained? If it’s the former just ask what I was reading or give me a call, because it’s likely I’m searching for the sunshine, or drinking wine. Or, I could be happy as a clam….if the mud and mold are mixed with sweat and blood which is mine.

What do you do to change the scenery in your head? What is the action you take? What do you make? In my head you know what’s at stake? Happiness. I hope you find yours.

I find mine in the mesmerizing experience of sweating under purpose. A clean passionate pursuit of something higher than a simple pleasure. What does this look like? Shit, if I knew that I’d be a preacher instead of a teacher……well…..I’m looking forward to sunshine tomorrow…and this Scurvy Medic is kicking in…so….what does it look like?

Pursuing a dream come true. Building something that will benefit others. Getting my needs met simply so I can spend time giving back to people who are less fortunate, cause folks, I feel pretty blessed with this life, my opportunities are too much, and that motivates me to do for others. I hope you find that in your heart to feel, because it doesn’t come cheap, and it won’t go away.

If you think of the soldiers that died for us on this soil, the grunts in the ditches carrying ammo to the front lines, officers accepting the misery of a whole command dying under their directions, and the masses of natives who lost their lives so we could plant corn on their territory…..it makes you want to do something other than complain about first world problems.

I went to church yesterday and it wasn’t to pray by the river. It was pretty frigging awesome. Gave me tears to witness a community of people who accepted each others beliefs, and welcomed me as a weird stranger. Unreal. Surreal. The preacher wore a mask, literally on stage, and talked of how the mask we wear is not necessarily negative. It can be as a prism that filters personal perceptions into harmony with others. I appreciated his lessons, and it’s fitting for this one.

The best advice I can give to myself: choose your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs wisely. Have faith in the power of positive perception, and accept that fate might smote you down any moment. Live in the best way you can for this one second, as you might not get another.

If you want to buy Little Blue Man, he glows in the dark. I cut his strings off the controller because deciding what and how a creature should do something is the job of god, and I just want to teach, create art, and be happy. I’m also game to give him to the acting teacher of my childhood, or build a matching gal for him to parade around in a box making naughty in the night at festivals. As above pick the flavor that will bring you happiness, as I loved making him, and am not attached to owning his bones any longer.


The pharmacy of your mind prescribing for my pleasure

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