Danger: Chocolate

While researchers theorize that menstruating women potentially face magnesium deficiencies, and that their need for chocolate is an indication of this phenomenon as it has magnesium in it, further studies indicate it has the capacity to produce the same physiological reaction that sneezing and orgasms do, in your brain.

When I eat dark chocolate…it makes me sneeze like I’m having multiple orgasms in my mouth. It’s a weak point for me, like women are, an allergy, and a vulnerability. I love it, but sometimes the only way to satisfy my vice….is to binge on it.

The theories, or “scientific findings” above, are excellent examples of things that are true to me, but I have some news proof and history that indicates:

Eating chocolate is lethal!!

As a kid, I’m not obedient. Big surprise right? I have a system, or code of conduct, that at times has put me on the wrong end of the “law”.

One case of this is the time I was in the kitchen (just like before I sat down to write this), I was around twelve, and I was five-finger discounting some cocoa with a spoon.

Being the gluttonous ape I am with little regard to portion size of my favorite drug(sugar), I used the biggest table-spoon available, and plopped it in my mouth.

Sneaky means alone for me (More apes means more weight to creak floors, and witnesses) as I weigh less than seventy-five pounds, which allows me to fit through dog doors and such .

Standing there with the can of Carnation Hot Cocoa Mix open and cramming it home, suddenly I became scared! Chocolate was killing me!!!!

The heaping tablespoon of powder had become a drool wrapped ball in my throat, and as the seconds ticked by, I focused on my imminent demise at the hands of my bane.

The can sat there evilly. It wanted to give me more elixir of death. The thing was possessed, and I knew it had an aberrant personality from its inappropriate, overzealous charming pushing of the poison.

Choking that sinful thing down was a long moment, that I’ve shared before with great pleasure.

True stories are fun to trim!!! I love fiction, and fiction based on truth is grey writing!!!! Yayyyy! Finish Carpentry/Story Finish.

Have a good day, and thanks for reading!!!

Questionable References

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The pharmacy of your mind prescribing for my pleasure

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